Saturday, July 11, 2009

Not Quite There Yet

Okay, so I have a bit of a confession to make. I have not quite quit smoking yet, but I am trying. I did intend to quit on July 5th. But on the morning of July 6th I was on a plane heading down to go through my dad's things. I did not bring any cigarettes with me. I thought I was doing good. I don't recall having a craving, but I did find myself buying a pack of cigarettes at the gas station that was right next door to our hotel. So I smoked the pack throughout the course of 3 days. I had the last one at the airport waiting for our flight home. That was going to be my "last cigarette". The morning after I got back home, I had to go to work. Again, I had no intention of smoking. But the cravings became too great. I went out in the early afternoon and bought a pack. I do not bring it home with me. It stays at work. The first night wasn't so bad because I knew I would be back at work the next morning and could have a cigarette then. But now that it is the weekend, I have to wait 2 days to get back to my cigarettes.

Maybe it will be a good thing. Maybe I won't be craving them by the time I get back to work Monday morning. But that might also be a bad thing. What if I am not craving them, but they are there? I don't think I will have to power to throw them away. I guess I will have to see what happens Monday.

Right now I need to focus on getting through the weekend. Just take 1 day at a time. That is all I can do. If I keep thinking about having a cigarette when I get to work on Monday morning, it will drive me crazy! So I need to find other things to keep myself occupied today.

Wish me luck!

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